Men’s Jewelry Basics
Remember the Friends episode about Chandler and Joey becoming “bracelet buddies”? It should be required viewing for every man, lest he feel tempted to express his individuality with anything too shiny or dangly. For those of you who haven’t seen it I won’t spoil the fun, but here are a few suggestions on the dos and don’ts of wearing jewelry.
Actors, artists, musicians, professional athletes, punks and mafiosos (mafiosi?) can feel free to ignore this advice. The rest of you should take heed.
In general, less is more with men’s jewelry. Keep it simple, both in style and material. Your goal should be elegance and refinement, not flashiness.
Regarding materials, gold has traditionally been considered a sign of affluence, but it usually just looks pretentious. For metal jewelry, I recommend sticking with other metals: stainless steel, silver, titanium, brass, platinum, etc. Yes, platinum is more expensive than gold, but it’s more subtle and elegant.
On to specific types of men’s jewelry…
Rings
Notwithstanding any debates about whether one should get married, if you are married it’s obviously acceptable to wear a wedding ring. Otherwise, I advise against wearing rings. Pinky rings are so Bridge & Tunnel. High school class rings are so high school. College class rings are just silly.
Bracelets
Friends don’t let friends (or Friends) wear bracelets. Thin leather strappy things? No. “Manly” metal chains? No. Thick, beefy wrist guards of the pit bull collar variety? No. Charm bracelets? Hell no.
Necklaces
This one’s a little trickier. In general necklaces are a bad idea from a style standpoint, but religious medallions or other sentimental objects on a necklace are okay as long as it’s discreet and it stays inside your shirt. Keep it simple, and avoid thick, shiny gold herringbone chains and the like. Never wear more than one. If a look could possibly be described as “Mr. T Starter Kit,” it’s a no. Don’t wear a clock around your neck unless you’re also sporting gold teeth and have your own reality television show.
Earrings
Step 1: Are you over 30? If no, go to Step 2. If yes, don’t wear earrings. Proceed to the next topic.
Step 2: Are you cool? Not just kinda cool, think you might be cool, or want to be cool. Do hot women ask for your phone number? If so, feel free to wear earrings.
Earrings are excluded from the exception noted above for actors. I’m talking to you Harrison Ford. Jack Nicholson is the exception to the exclusion of the exception.
Watches
A watch is a great way for a man to express his individual style. Metal sport watches are acceptable — perhaps even the norm — with business attire now, although you may want to keep a slimmer dress watch with a leather band for more formal occasions. Do I need tell you that leather band should not have a faux crocodile print? Reserve plastic sport watches for when you’re actually engaged in some physical activity. Pocket watches are cool — if you’ve got a hip look to back it up.
Cufflinks
Cufflinks are perhaps the best way for a man to be fun and creative with business attire or smart casual. Look for materials and designs that suit your interests and personality, but still remember it should be discreet. Avoid cufflinks that are too large or too ostentatious. Also try not to be too predictable; anything involving sports equipment falls in this category. Silk knots? Great way to play with colors. Gold knots? Boring.
Tie accoutrements
Again, simpler is better. Those little collar bars have been out of fashion for ages. The same applies to tie tacks and tie chains. In any case, why would you want to ruin a nice tie by poking a hole in it? Tie clips are making a comeback, especially with the skinny-tie look. Try to find a plain silver one without any embellishments. Any other tie paraphernalia will just make you look like a Goodfellas extra.
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